Here's an offer you can't refuse:
Send me your best question about approaching and
talking with women and I'll choose the best one.
The winner gets a half-hour of free advice and coaching from me.
Live. On the phone…
Cool?
Send your entry to me here: Email Carlos…
Hey Carlos,
Have you ever been to Boston or New York where public transportation is more of the norm?
I live in Boston and ride the T(subway)every day. There are hundreds of woman that ride the subway and I feel that there are dozens of missed opportunities to meet woman. I don't believe I have ever read any advice on this matter and many of us are missing out.
Please help!
PS most of the people on the train look miserable and keep to themselves.
Cheers!
Nathan Lauren
Comment by Nate Lauren — August 4, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
I agree. It can be difficult to approach someone (or even to be approached by someone) when riding public transportation to and from work, especially when they look miserable and don't look open to it.
But remember…
People are already caught up in their own minds and it shows - they're thinking of meetings and deadlines. They're thinking of an argument they may have had with a relative or friend the day before. Hell, they're even thinking of how tired they are - and, all they want to do is go home, have something to eat, and get into a nice comfy bed.
You know how this feels and you can use this to your advantage by approaching people gently… and without the intent of trying to get something like a number or an email.
Do it with the intention of showing another person some understanding and compassion. It will make them feel good and possibly more open to the idea being approached…
I remember I was waiting for a bus, here in the SF Bay Area. I was having a really bad day - so bad that it ended in a tear filled shouting match with a friend. All I wanted to do was go home and forget all about it with the help of a glass of wine. As I was sitting there, I noticed a gentleman waiting at the bus stop across the street.
He noticed me, smiled, and proceeded to come over.
As he did, I remember thinking…" Great. I just had this great big fight. I feel like crap. I look like crap. And now, this guy's coming over to talk to me… I don't want to deal with this…"
But, lo and behold, he surprised me with what he said…
"I just wanted to come over and say that I bet you have a really beautiful smile. I would love to see it…" And, I couldn't refuse him.
I smiled… a big, beaming smile… because someone took the time out of their day to get me out of my "rut" and connect with me…
So, try using those kind words. See what it brings…
You may or may not get a number, email, or a date.
But I bet you'll get someone feeling good about the interaction…
so good, that they'll share it with their family and friends and even others in a blog post. ;- )
And, you'll probably fell good about it, too.
Comment by Jeneya — August 7, 2008 @ 11:11 am