Send me your best question about approaching and
talking with women and I'll choose the best one.

The winner gets a half-hour of free advice and coaching from me.

Live. On the phone…

Cool?

Send your entry to me here: Email Carlos…

Well, in answer to your requests, on Wed. Aug 6th, at 6:00 PM I'll
be holding another teleseminar on approaching women. This time I'm
covering a few more of your questions on what "Real Alpha Daygame"
is all about…

And why DayGame is something that you CANNOT ignore if you're going
to approach women and keep up with the changes in the art of
approaching and at-tracting women.

If you don't keep your skills current and cutting edge, other guys
will eat your lunch when it comes to meeting women.

I'm going to cover topics like inner game, approaching groups, and
how to turn disadvantages into advantages when it comes to meeting
women during the day. This is a PACKED call.

Unfortunately, not everyone could make it on the last call. We only
have about 200 lines, and I couldn't get them to open up to more,
so you're going to have to be SURE to get on this one EARLY.

You WANT to be on this call.

I have a very important announcement on this call that concerns you.

If you have any questions you'd like to have answered, be sure to
post them on the blog post for this teleconference announcement.
I'll be pulling them from the blog, from the forums, and from your
direct emails…

Make sure you submit your questions to me right away, and please
keep them related to the topic of the call - Approaching Women -
Daygame.

Wed. Aug 6th, 2008 - 6:00 PM (PDT) West Coast time!
Dial-in Number: 1-218-936-1600
Participant Access Code 21047

Be there!

Your friend,

- Carlos Xuma

PS: Here are the call details. Print this email and post this
information by your computer and put it in your scheduler so you
remember the details.

Date: Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Start Time: 6:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time
End Time: around 7:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Participants: LIMITED
Dial-in Number: 1-218-936-1600
Participant Access Code 21047

I just sat down and asked a few questions of a woman that you're going to want to hear.

I've been hearing a lot of concerns in email, the blog, the forums, that guys think that women don't want them to approach during the day.

Well, I'm going to help you with this right now.

You want to listen to this audio right away…

Close the door and listen to this audio NOW.
(WARNING: Your reality is going to be shaken here…)

I'm currently planning a teleseminar to address a lot of those questions, so watch this weekend and you'll get more information on that. It's coming up this week…

But I also want to take this opportunity to point a couple of things out to you guys that might have a little trouble with this concept of "Daygame."

What really IS "Daygame?"

Very simply it's meeting women anywhere.

ANYWHERE.

Let me try that in a bigger font:

ANYWHERE!!

You see, bars and clubs seem to be all that guys think of when they think about meeting women. But there is a wide and undiscovered country out there where we are able to meet women:

- in the park
- at a friend's party
- at a business event
- at the gym
- in a coffee shop
- at a cocktail party
- at a library or bookstore…

Literally there is an infinite number of places out there to meet women that we are not using right now.

It's not just about walking up and talking to women cold on the street.

You see, I've talked to a lot of guys who have very strong beliefs about meeting women in everyday places. They seem to be scared to death of it because the woman will be guarded… cautious…

After all, you're a stranger!

Guys, you don't have to have anyone "approve" of where you meet a woman.

You don't need to meet a woman in certain designated areas. Regardless of what we think women MIGHT be thinking about it.

Whenever I talk to a couple, I ask them how they met. The women tend to romanticize the first meeting, but the guys always tell the facts.

Most of them met at a store, or in a gym, or in places where the guy simply sucked it up and did the unthinkable…

He approached her!

In fact, I did a certain hidden camera video just a couple weeks ago. I met a woman in the Apple Store and we had a GREAT conversation and connection.

Last night, after 2 weeks, SHE CALLED ME.

I haven't initiated any contact since then, but she called me up and left a 2 minute message.

How cool is THAT?

And, honestly, it wasn't a very spectacular approach. I just started talking with her for no reason.

She was a stranger.

Now she's a possibility for me. One that I would never have had if I had let the thought: "She doesn't know me - she's going to be scared of me" get into my head.

Repeat after me:
ALL limitations are self-imposed!
Stay tuned…

I've got more great stuff coming up…

Go check out the videos on the blog here:
http://www.realdaygame.com/approachblog/

Your Day-walker friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: Thanks to all you guys who send me your questions and concerns. I'm even more convinced than ever that creating this new program is exactly what guys everywhere need to take their approach game to the next level.

Remember, every relationship starts with an approach.

Today's video is a seminar I recorded just for you to answer some of the most popular questions about DayGame and approaching women.

Be sure to post your comments at the bottom of the post…!

Click the video to start playing….

I didn’t start by using Direct Game.  I started off and got good by learning Indirect Game, mostly by practicing indirect routines.  I think starting off with an indirect approach helped me a lot. Direct Game is incredibly powerful, but it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off. As a bootcamp student said to me recently, “You’ve got to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can jog.”

I ultimately switched to being direct because it was more congruent with my personality, and I had more fun with it. I love the look of shock on a woman’s face when you approach her and say, “You’re so sexy, how are you?”  It’s even more fun when I’m on a date and getting intimate with the same woman a few hours later.
 
This article describes one of my favourite experiences with a beautiful woman I met on the street, hooked up with that night, and is now one of my closest friends.
 
I was walking down the street with a good friend of mine, when he spotted a beautiful Asian woman walking past (he knows I have a penchant for Asians). She looked absolutely stunning. Tanned skin, long jet black hair, big celebrity style sunglasses and a crisp summer dress; she was a vision of beauty.  She was already a few steps in front of us, so I leapt after her.
 
I rushed up to her from behind, touched her gently on the arm to turn her around, and said, “Excuse me, I saw you walking down the street and thought, ‘Oh my God, that woman is beautiful,’ and had to come talk to you.”
 
Things like leaping after a woman or starting with “Excuse me” could be try-hard with an opinion opener, but they are totally congruent with Direct Game. The goal is to come off as charming and confident without seeking a specific reaction from her. The key to achieving this is passion and enthusiasm in your delivery. The more she thinks you’re being 100% genuine with her, the better she will respond.
 
She gave me that classic look that I’ve seen thousands of times. The look of surprise, slight shock, and quick once-over of you to see if she’s potentially interested. Unlike in Indirect Game, where you build up your value from the ground as you interact with the woman, in Direct Game you have to have high pre-approach value, otherwise she will write you off. This means looking as good as you possibly can, having very strong body language, and delivering your opener with the utmost confidence. 

She giggles and asks if I’m sure that I’m not trying to sell her something. I joke around with her for about how I’m not trying to sell her something, and in fact I am trying to pick her up, which gets her giggling even more. One of the things that I’ve learnt in Direct Game is that if you can make her laugh IMMEDIATELY after opening directly, it completely relaxes them.

At this point, you’ve done something very powerful. You’ve shown your interest, but you’ve also shown them that they can have a fun interaction with you. Humour is huge for Direct Game. If you’re not a funny person, you’re going to have to learn to be one! There’s a book by Martin Merrill called Make Women Laugh that could help. Also, watching stand-up comedy shows is great for developing a good sense of humour.

I suggest walking down the street with her for a little bit so we can talk more, and she agrees. For the next few minutes, I get to know her a little better and start building comfort with her. I also start thinking about where and how I am going to spend the next few hours of time with her.

In Direct Game, you close quickly. When I ran Indirect Game, I would always make sure to “play it cool” throughout the pick-up. I never wanted to appear too needy, so I would wait a little while before texting or calling her, and then set up a date for a couple of days later. That way I looked like I had a busy and interesting lifestyle.

With Direct Game, you take the reverse approach. Imagine the whirlwind romancer who flies into Paris for one night, meets a beautiful woman, charms and sleeps with her that night, and then departs sorrowfully the next morning. Direct Game is meant to be THAT intense. It’s as if your feelings and your passion for this woman are so strong that you can’t help but act on them. Women LOVE this kind of intensity in their romantic encounters.

It turns out she doesn’t have any plans as yet for the evening, so I start seeding the idea of joining my friends and me for drinks that night. 

We part ways for the afternoon, and I call her a couple of hours later. We arrange to meet up at the bar that night, and then I start creating a sexual frame by sending the text, “Make sure you wear something sexy for me tonight.”

Sexuality is a HUGE part of Direct Game. Most guys get it completely wrong and end up coming off as “sleazy”. I teach students how to be calibrated with their sexuality, how much and when to express it. Calibrated expressions of your sexuality achieve two things: it increases her attraction to you (women like guys that are confident in the bedroom), and it makes her start reacting sexually towards you.

I remember sometimes being frustrated with Indirect Game because when I got a woman into bed, she didn’t always want to sleep with me. With Direct Game, because you use sexuality as part of the interaction throughout, she comes home with you knowing full well what is going to happen – and she gets excited by the prospect.

She meets me at the bar, we talk with my friends, and then I pull her aside to a couch so we can talk in isolation.

Direct Game applies to comfort as well. I try and condense my comfort phase down to about an hour or two these days. Being Direct is about being open with your emotions. If you can tell a woman what your real passions, ambitions, and feelings are in life within an hour or two of meeting her, then you’ll find that she is likely to do the same. Before you know it, you’re both locked in this little bubble, where it’s just the two of you talking about your innermost feeling. It should feel as if everything around you disappears.

This is the feeling you create with Direct Game. Nothing else should exist when you are looking deep into her eyes. By the way, really looking into a woman’s eyes is a powerful way to convey how you feel about her. It’s hard to explain in print, but people who’ve met me know that it’s a look I can turn on or off. When you look at her, imagine that you’ve just had a glimpse into paradise and you get completely absorbed by it, just for a few seconds.

I ramp up the kino escalation by holding her hands as she talks to me about her past relationships. I stroke her hair from time to time so she begins to feel that fluttery feeling in a stomach and knows that a kiss is imminent.

She has told me everything that’s happened to her in the last couple of years by now, and I know that the trust is there. I need to think about escalating further and closing.

I tighten the sexual frame by telling her how incredibly sexy she looks tonight. Then I tell her to stand up – dominance is a very Direct quality and increases her attraction to you – and turn her around. I whisper into her ear, “Your ass looks especially sexy.”

I tell her, “I’m thinking about doing all sorts of things to you that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about.” She’s getting turned on and responding positively to the sexual frame that I’ve created.

I spend a little time dancing with her, and then suggest we get out of there. At this point, she knows full well what’s going to happen. When we get back to mine, I can tell she is a little nervous, so I spend more time talking with her and telling her how much fun I’ve had with her that evening.

Being Direct means you escalate fast. Occasionally, you will find you move forward too fast for some woman. At this point, all you need to do is spend a little more time in comfort on an ad hoc basis.

There’s no need to spend three dates or seven hours with her if you can escalate faster; just make sure when she is in bed with you, you understand her and have demonstrated why you like her (qualification).

I won’t go into details of the rest of the night, but neither of us got much sleep, and she has now become one of my best friends. All throughout the interaction, I never misled her about how I felt about her and what I wanted. She respected me for that, and it’s one of the reasons why we’re still close friends to this day. It’s also one of the reasons why I love Direct Game.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Yeah, I totally agree.

A lot of guys fear direct game because they perceive that it's like "letting the cat out of the bag" as to how they feel about the women, but ironically this is often what makes a man attractive to a woman.

It's the risk that a man puts out there that makes him look confident.

Now watch the blog for a special update today!

- CX

Put simply, you want to use something that gives you a consistent return on your investment (sometimes called "ROI").

Just click play below to watch…

(Oh, and see how many people stare at me as they pass on the beach… Pretty funny…)

(For those of you who are curious, the author I mention in the video is Michael Gerber. He's the author of the E-Myth and many other business system programs.)

One of the most common frustrations I hear is about why it is that men have to approach women at all. Why don't women take on this role?

Well, I'd like to say that there's no reason, and women should just step up to the plate, but this is one of the biggest lies that feminism spawned upon us.

The lie is this:

Because men and women are treated as "equals," this means that we should throw aside our gender roles because we've suddenly become "enlightened" and now we can stop playing all the games.

Now, when you read that, what did you think?

If you're like most guys, you can identify with what I said, but at a core level you know that this isn't the way of the world.

I can wish I had the passive role in getting together with women, but wanting it to be that way will never make it that way.

That being said, there are ways to get women to do the approaching - in HER own way.

I'm going to be talking about those in a few days in the upcoming videos.

But for now, I'd love to hear your comments about what frustrates you about approaching women. Not just to bitch and moan, but to also talk about what you DO about it.

Just post a comment to this blog entry, or post to the forum where I've got these questions running all the time.

Talk to you soon… I'm going out in the sun to play soccer with some kids.

I'm working like a maniac, but I have to have a little rest…

- Carlos

Just click play below to watch. If you'd like a copy of the survey, click here:

Approach Women Skills Survey - Q&A

Click To Play

I wanted to share with you this article he wrote. I'll be sending you more information like this over the next week or so, and a video update later today.

Stay tuned!
______________________

Be The Selector

Recently, a friend of mine from Europe wrote me a great email. Now, he's a confident, good-looking guy who really understands the power of his mind and his attitude. He sent me something this morning that really resonated with me, and I'm going to call it “Be The Selector.”

Most men will go to the bar, find a position, stand there, drink some booze , and hope either the right woman walks by so they can talk to her or that they get up enough liquid courage to walk over and talk to someone. Does this sound familiar so far??

They will also wait for the hot woman to be near them and then they will make the number one cardinal sin happen. They will buy her a drink and she will of course spend the obligatory 2 minutes with him and then walk away. Only to be seen 30 minutes later sucking face with a dude in the corner sipping the drink you bought her.

As the night progresses, the women will be hit on more and more by different guys using the same boring approach. A guy will be standing there at the bar waiting his turn. Once he finally figures out what to say (which he thinks is so clever and original), it is really the exact same thing all the other guys have been saying.

The guy finally gets his turn, and he gets shot down even quicker than the other guys. Why does he get shot down quicker? Because she's already heard what he's trying on her, and her patience is at a night time low for all the un-clever banter that's been brought over to her.

Not only is this something that men do, men will repeat this over and over every Friday night hoping that this will work one time. They might as well send the 100 dollars they spend in the bar to a charity, at least then the money will be put to good use.

When you learn the power of being the selector, you are now different than every other guy who wishes they were selected. Women feel your lack of confidence right when you walk over to her. Women smell a routine a mile away. Let's talk about a routine.

There are good routines and bad routines. What makes the difference between a good routine and a bad routine?

A bad routine usually has the man talking nonstop. Because he's so nervous and he doesn't want even a moment of silence, he becomes “routine man.” Either he tells a story or asks a question, but he never listens to her response to know what to say next.

Also a bad routine will only work on drunk 22 year old club girls and when you think you have a potential date with them you will find out 2 days later when you call that she either gave you a wrong number or all you get is voicemail and no phone call back.

I have found that 7 out of 10 times you use a routine and meet drunk girls in bar the odds of getting a date is 30%.

So you will need to get 10 phone numbers for 3 dates. Do you want to work such low odds and think about how long it takes you to get 10 phone numbers in a hot bar.

A routine guy will brag about all the numbers he gets, the reason why is because he knows that the majority of women that he gets a number of will never turn into a date.

Do you want to be a routine guy so you can brag to your friends about all the numbers you get?

Or do you desire to be a Selector, a man that not only gets the number but she can’t wait for him to call and sometimes when you are a Selector a woman will actually chase you.

Lets talk further about how a Selector makes this happen.

A selector will walk over to a group of women with a very clever opener that will get them speaking and competing for his attention. For instance, you're in a bar and three women are standing there. They've already rejected two or three guys. A routine guy will walk over with the same routine that those last guys did. A selector will walk over with a purpose – he is going to get every woman intrigued by him.

One of my favorite openers in a bar is “the text opener.” I will have my friend text me this into my phone: “Hmmm . . . Last night was really interesting. What are you doing later? :)”: Now that you have this in your phone, you need a back story. The back story is that you went out with this woman the night before, had a glass of wine, and said goodnight without any kiss. So you approach the group of three women, and you ask them “Can I have your opinion on something? Before I show you what I need your opinion on, I need to tell you the back story.” Then you explain to them about the date the night before. And then . . . the fun begins.

You pass them the phone, and every one of them will have a comment. Within three to five minutes, you will find out about their booty call rules and their dating habits. The key to making this work is to listen. If girl #1 says “She's booty calling you,” you need to challenge her and say “Is that what you do when you booty call a guy?”

As all of you know, I'm not a big routine guy. Everything I teach is all about observation and being present in the moment so you can connect with women.

But bars are a different ball game, and a lot of women when they go to a bar are very guarded. Truthfully, I don't blame them. If I was out on a Friday night and everybody looked at me like a piece of meat on a grill, and all that was missing was the A1 Sauce, I can see how they begin to get this way.

Now I know women right now are reading this and thinking “Why do men have to play games and use routines?” The reason is obvious. Most women don't make themselves available when they go out on a Friday night. They hover in packs, and barely make any eye contact with men. So we feel like we have to come up with something to say to get your attention . . . and “hello” just doesn't seem to cut it.

So in order to become the selector, you also have to be able to be unique and different. Selectors may have little routines from time to time, but the key is not what you say . . . it's how you say it and listening. If you listen, you will become the selector.

Try this out in a bar and you will realize that women will not only find this entertaining and fun, but different. Not only that, by saying you went out on a date and then having them see what's in that text, they will wonder what you said on an hour date that made her text you at 10:00 pm on a Friday night.

A friend of mine used this approach, and all the women in the group he approached wanted him after that. One walked by and let her business card fall. Another one met him at the bathroom. The one he initially spoke to when he walked over to the group called him twenty minutes after he left the bar. They all became hookups for him.

It's all about confidence, and not worrying about what you look like or what happens if you get turned down. The more you talk to women, the greater chance of success you'll have. My friend emailed me and said “I've stopped chatting them up, because it always works and I have no time anymore for all these women."

The power of being the selector is within you. Women desire the man who selects them . . . not the man who begs them. Time for you to kick ass, and start learning how to listen and attract all the women you desire!
______________________
CARLOS COMMENTS:

Amen!

This is an important mental distinction for guys everywhere to adopt.

You cannot qualify correctly until you fully understand the shift in your power and Alpha Presence you have when you become the selector.

What do you think?