How to Approach Women Without Fear
or Rejection - No Tricks or Games...
to Approach Women... How to Talk to Women... and How to Get Rid of Your Shyness
From: Carlos Xuma
Monday, 10:14 a.m.
since I could remember, I've always been afraid of walking up and talking to
I can't explain where the heck it came from, because I have never had
a woman throw her drink in my face or slap me - but this crazy
fear was always there, and because of it, I felt like I missed
out on so many opportunities to meet some amazing women.
My experience usually went something like this:
I would walk into a bar, or a restaurant - or anywhere I might meet an attractive
woman - and then I would see HER.
You know, that
one woman that just grabs your eye, and you get obsessed - just thinking
about what it would be like to talk to her, and maybe hold her in your arms
on a date...
And the second I saw this woman and I figured out that I really wanted to meet
her, I would experience this total "lock-up" in my brain.
was frozen to the spot, and I didn't know what to say or do.
I knew I
had to go over and talk to her in order to get anything started, but I couldn't
seem to find a way to DO
IT. I almost felt like someone was holding me back physically, like
being pinned to a wall.
Every time I tried to take a step in her direction, my mind would lock up again
and I couldn't move or say anything. Even if she was standing right
next to me!
that was usually the WORST situation because she was right there...
SO CLOSE.... within reach.)
Here is another situation I think a lot of guys go through:
Have you ever been talking to a woman for a few minutes, and as the energy
of the conversation starts to dip a little (right about where you are running
out of things to say) she just looks back to her friends and turns her back
We call this the "back turn," and it's one of those experiences
guys hate more than anything. You get that sick feeling of not just being
ignored, but de-valued as well.
Even though she didn't actually do it or say it out loud, you feel like she
just laughed and called you a loser.
And it makes you feel like dirt.
Have you ever had this happen to you? Maybe once or twice?
And the worst part is that you don't feel like it's something you could even
describe to anyone else, because you feel like it's your
"This is Where Everything Changes Inside Your Head..."
In every one of these situations where I wanted to approach
a woman, I noticed that there was this point in time - just a few
seconds after I saw her - where if I didn't do something right
away, I knew I would not be approaching that woman
or talking to her.
It just wasn't going to happen if I waited beyond any time at all past that
What I discovered later on - and I'll talk more about this in a second - is
that if I could just get myself to take ACTION - just say something -
that I wouldn't have any problems after that.
And even if I did have a challenge,
it wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as difficult
as this was.
You see, I'm going to tell you something that a lot of my friends don't even
I've always held myself back when it came to meeting
people and being more
outgoing. I just had this unexplainable emotion in my head that
would stop me from just walking up and saying "Hi" to a woman I wanted to meet.
on the surface it was SO simple to do, but it felt like it
was INFINITELY complicated
below the surface. I even thought at one point that I was making this stuff
up in my head.
One day I sat down and wondered what it would be like to master
that emotion in me - the one that kept me from meeting and interacting socially.
Take a second right now and imagine how different your
life would be if you
could just manage to overcome this blockade - this barrier - in your thinking
that stops you from talking to the women you want.
- Can you imagine just how
much more opportunity you'd have if you could control that feeling of shyness
that comes up and robs you?
- Can you
imagine how different would you act with other people? How much more confidence
you would have?
Just imagine what other people in your
life would think about you if you could erase that invisible barrier between
you and the moment where you take ACTION...
This is what I started thinking about all the time, because
I knew I could radically improve my life if I could just figure out how to
seize this moment and just DO IT.
Well, I came up with some things that you will want to know about this feeling,
and the art of approaching women.
Here are some other situations that I've gone through that may have happened
You're sitting somewhere having an ice cold beer, and you're talking
to some friends. Out of nowhere, a woman passes by that catches your eye,
you can't take your eyes off her.
More than anything, you wish you knew how
to approach her, but somewhere inside your gut you get this feeling
of fear pressing down on you. Your mouth goes dry...
And before you can pry your
butt off your chair, that little voice in your head starts talking to you:
- "She's out of your league..."
- "She's probably got a boyfriend..."
- "You're probably not her type..."
- "You have no idea what to say to her..."
The strange thing is that these thoughts don't come up in words... they seem to come up in emotions, like an invisible force field between you and the woman you want to go meet.
And, as you stand there trying to figure out how you're going to walk up to her, another guy comes up to her and introduces himself and starts talking to her. Before you know it, they're all laughing and having fun.
You missed your shot...
"It wasn't just approaching women that
would paralyze me, either..."
Have you ever had something like this happen to you:
- You finally walk up to a woman and say hello, and the conversation gets going, but a minute or two later, you find yourself struggling
to come up with something to talk about, and you want to just get her phone number and go, but now there's this uncomfortable silence ... and before you know it she says she has to "get back to her friends..."
How do you bridge the conversation into asking for her number?
- You get into a conversation with a woman that you think is hot, but as you're
talking to her she's
barely making eye contact, and she's talking to you over her shoulder.
You feel more like you're interrupting her than keeping up a conversation,
you just drift away without getting a number - OR
a date... How
do you get a woman interested quickly?
- You've been talking with a woman for a little while, and things are going
great. She's beautiful, smart, funny, and single. You want to close
the deal on this, but when you ask her out for dinner, she tells
you she's busy that week. She says she'll see you around sometime, and you
feel disappointment hit you like a sucker-punch. What went wrong?
"Here's a story you might relate to..."
A few years back, I had a BIG problem: I
was single and had just relocated to Kansas City. I was supposed to get married,
but that had fallen through, and now I was alone and on my own.
I managed to get a job
fairly quickly, but I had NO social network. I had to start again from scratch.
I thought it would be easy, just like it was in high-school.
I was in for a
I got along okay for a few weeks, but then I started noticing
how many nights I was staying home, drinking beer, and
watching the same movies over and over. (I think I must have gone through "Big Trouble in Little China" about
Between working at an office with only 4 people and sitting at home playing
computer games, I wasn't meeting ANYONE. In fact, it felt
like I had fewer
and fewer friends because when I did go out, it was usually
- you guessed it - alone.
I figured out real quick that loneliness doesn't go away by itself.
I knew that I had to do something different. And FAST.
So I went out to a bar in the area called "Houston's." It was a popular happy-hour
spot, and there were always some really good-looking
girls there. I was determined
to meet these women, because I hadn't had a date in over
2 months (probably
longer than that, now that I think about it), and I was starting to go stir-crazy.
I ordered a Budweiser and parked myself at the bar. I looked around to see
who there was to meet. (This was a big mistake, and I'll explain why in a minute).
I kept seeing groups of girls come in, and leave, and come in... and leave.
And I wasn't approaching any of them. I wanted to, but my mind wasn't
giving me anything to say to them.
"The longer I stayed there,
the worse it got, because I had NO IDEA where to begin."
do you just go up and talk to a person you've never met before? I watched lots
of other guys walk in, and they seemed to have no problem walking over and
talking to women.
Me? I couldn't imagine how to do it, or what the hell to say...
Until later, of course. When you're in your car and on the way home, you suddenly
figure out the perfect thing to open up with, even if it was only, "Hey,
are you girls having fun?" It could have been that simple,
but for some reason you just couldn't do it at the time.
The more times this happens to you, the more emotionally
worked-up you get. And each time - when nothing changes - you feel
worse and worse about yourself because it feels like you're completely
stuck in this infinite loop, like Groundhog Day, only you can't seem to break the
Okay, let me finish my story about what happened at that bar...
So here I am, and finally, 2 hours and 3 beers later, I decided that I had
to do something.
I decided to leave.
BUT, I wasn't going to leave without connecting with at
least one woman there.
So I reached into my wallet and pulled out a business card, and I wrote on
the back: "I think you're attractive... if you're interested, give me a call
"I walked over to the first cute girl
I saw, and..."
I tapped her on the shoulder,
and handed her the card. I said, "Here, I think you dropped this..."
Now, I thought that was pretty darn clever.
But she looked back at me - after first glancing at the front of the card and
giggling - and she said, "I don't think so." And then she threw the card over
her shoulder on the floor.
That was cold.
I just walked out of there with my tail between my legs and drove home. I remember
beating on the steering wheel with my fists, wondering:
"What in the world
do I have to do to meet women without going through the pain of rejection like
mean, I'd finally overcome my fear for just two seconds to
walk up to her, and I still got blown out.
It really does take guts to go up to a woman and talk to her. You
have to work your courage up to a fever-pitch before you can do something.
Even if you can get your courage up, there's no guarantee you're going to be
I had no idea WHAT to say to women to get them to respond,
so I felt like I was in a double-bind. Even if I could get the nerve up, I
still didn't know what to say.
"I felt like I was getting in the boxing ring
with an opponent that I'd never beat."
My morale had hit an all-time low.
What I ended up doing was going to the local bookstore the next day and looking
for books that showed guys how to approach women and meet women.
found NOTHING on the topic.
Then I started looking at all the dating advice
books out there, most of which are written by women to help
other women. I
found some good ideas in there, but nothing that even came close to helping
me overcome this anxiety over approaching women.
just talked about "flirting" and
stuff like that. I didn't want to flirt - I wanted to MEET women, ATTRACT women.
Get myself a hot girlfriend.
So then I went out just about every night I could, watching guys who were good
with women and seeing what it was they were doing. I started figuring out how
they used lines to open up groups of women and get them interested.
(These weren't those corny "pickup lines" you read about,
either. I'm going to talk about those in a minute, too.)
I even joined a dating service, and put an ad in the personals, and created
an online dating service profile.
I used every opportunity I could to put together a REAL and EFFECTIVE strategy
to get over my fear and start talking to women.
Because there was one thing I had figured out, and it's the one thing you should
be aware of right now as you read this:
"If you can't approach women,
you can't meet any women."
"And if you can't meet women,
you can't possibly get them to
go out on a date with you..."
The two work hand in hand.
It's very simple, and logical ... and it took me a LONG
TIME to learn that
lesson. You see, everything you want to learn to be more successful
with women requires you to learn how to approach women - and in the right way.
It goes back to that turning point I talked about before - the point in your
head where you will either take action or fade
into the background.
Since you're still with me here, I know that you're definitely NOT the kind
who wants to disappear into the background.
Now, over those 4 years of intensive research and field
work I did to find
out how to approach women the right way, I kept notes in a journal. I have
pages and pages of notes on what I tried, what worked, what didn't work, and
how I overcame the challenges of learning this new skill.
(I still have that
notebook to this day. It's all dog-eared and ragged, and I have to use a rubber
band to keep the pages in there, but it's packed full of every insight and
technique I found.)
But I also found something out that was much more valuable along the way. In
fact, I think I'd even call it "priceless."
I noticed that even when I knew WHAT I was supposed to say
when I approached a woman, I still had to get past that point in my head where
I actually would DO it. Lines don't help with that.
Here's a little test you can use:
On any of your single guy friends, the
next time you see an attractive woman in a bar, nudge him and tell him to
go talk to her.
I will bet that 19 out of 20 guys will say something like this:
"Nah, she's not my type, dude..."
"I'm not on my game tonight. Maybe later..."
Or any number of lame excuses.
Hey, I used to do the EXACT same thing. And the
worst part is that when your friend talks himself out of approaching a
woman, you feel relieved because it usually gives you the excuse
you need to not go talk to her, either. So you don't push it, and you go
back to drinking your beer.
But deep inside, you still really want to meet
Look, I'm not telling you this stuff to make you feel bad; I just want you
to understand just how much of the same experiences I've gone through.
And what I discovered was ...
"There are guys EVERYWHERE with
this issue - trying to find the courage to approach a woman and just say 'Hi'
I wasn't alone.
But even MORE important was that I discovered that there were
guys who had
figured out how to overcome the problem. They had managed
their fear -
and their shy personality - and break through that invisible barrier.
I once heard a phrase that I'd like you to remember: "If he did that,
I can do that."
Because I used to think that there was something actually different about these
guys, that they had some kind of magical gift. The reality is that they had
the exact same brain I have, and they had the same abilities I had.
And I learned
that I could actually do better than them when I discovered
how it all worked, because these "naturals" were clueless as to what they were
And that means that it's a Skill That ANY Man Can
I want to let you know that approaching women really is a skill.
I'm sure you've learned to do something pretty good in your life, like play
the guitar, or fix cars, or even play a video game better than anyone else.
Well, learning how to talk to women is just like learning
one of those skills.
At first, you're not too good. But if you just stick with it, you learn faster
and faster, and before you know it you're better than most people.
The more you learn, the faster you get better. And it gets easier and easier.
(And the best part is that I've taken all the work and effort out of learning
this skill for you.)
And then I also discovered that I became a lot better in social situations,
too. I wasn't always the "quiet one" that never talked. I found out how to
be a part of conversations instead of just an observer, and I got rid of a
lot of the shyness I had. I even figured out how to use my sense
of humor with
women and not come across as a dork.
5 Mistakes Most Guys Make When They Learn To Approach Women & Pickup Women
So right now I want to share some of the lessons I learned on
this journey to improve my skills approaching women. The information I'm about
to share with you will probably shave a few months off your learning
curve if you really internalize it and let it sink in.
APPROACH MISTAKE #1: Trying to be "friends first" with
One of the things I saw myself doing, and I later saw in many other guys, was
that we men are so ashamed to show our interest in a woman for fear of being
rejected that we'd try to camouflage and hide it behind a false pretense.
The only way we could walk up and talk to a woman was if we convinced ourselves
(and the woman) that we weren't doing it for the need to "pickup" on her, or "hit
It's a fear that I call the fear of being "found
Have you ever used this line on a woman:
"Hey, can you tell me what time it
I have. It was the only way I could get myself to talk to some women.
You may have used that line to just do SOMETHING instead
of sit there. But then you have to figure out how to follow that one up, don't
What do you say next when she says: "Oh, it's 3:45..." (?)
And so we learned that the "What time is it?" trick wouldn't get us far.
So by trying to be "friends first" with a woman, we think we're actually answering her request. After all, don't most women say they want to be "friends first" before
But the problem with this is that what a woman is really saying is actually
much more complicated, and it wasn't until after I'd talked with a hundred
or so women about this, and dug deep to find out what was really happening
that I was able to interpret this...
Here's what a woman is really saying when she says: "I want to be friends
first..." I'm going to warn you that this is something that almost NO guy out there knows, so keep this information to yourself. You'll cook a lot of brain cells if you try to explain it to a guy who is caught up in his "wussy" ways.
Here's the translation of what she's REALLY saying:
"I want to give
you the impression that we need to be friends first so I can see how
you'll react to me when I say this.
"If you act frustrated or
angry, I'll know that you really only wanted me for one thing, and
you couldn't appreciate me as a human being with feelings.
the other hand, if you don't react to this and simply demonstrate that
you're a confident and sexual man - and act like I'm the sexual woman
that I am - I'll want to be much more than just 'friends first.'"
You see, by trying to sneak in the back door
of "friends first," you wind
up destroying her attraction for you, and it's because you end up WIMPING
The bigger reason for this is because you were seeking her acceptance and approval
before you took action. Almost like you were looking for permission.
After years of learning what it takes to get women genuinely interested in
men, and finding out what they were really looking for, I can boil almost all
of the problems guys have into this one thing:
You see, most shy
guys like us have a need inside to feel accepted by
a woman. That we're approved of in her eyes.
I'm sure there's some great psycho-babble out there about how this relates
to your 'inner child,' but it doesn't help you learn how
to approach women with confidence, so let's leave that out for now...
What women see when a guy tries this friends-first thing is a guy who is saying: "Please-oh-please...
Will you approve of me?"
A woman's mind is hard-wired to mistrust a guy who needs her approval, because
she wants to know that when push comes to shove, he will be
able to point the way.
She wants to feel SAFE around him. And a BIG part
of feeling safe for a woman is knowing that she will not be the man in the
This may sound a bit obvious, but I need to say this for you to really understand:
"Women are not attracted to approval-seeking
actually repulsive to them. As in: "I just saw
naked pictures of my grandma" repulsive.
Yeah, THAT bad.
(This friends-first thing is also what triggers the "Nice Guy" syndrome, by
Let's move on to the next mistake...
APPROACH MISTAKE #2: Trying to
Come up With a Perfect "pickup
line" - or Some Other Clever and Impressive Way to Get Her Interested in You...
When I first got started learning how to approach women, I thought it was the
first thing you say to a woman that makes her interested in you or not. I thought
I had to make this original presentation right up front. I figured you had
one chance to make a really big impression on her, or you lost her interest.
What I found in reality is something COMPLETELY different.
The first think you say is actually the LEAST important thing. I found some great conversational openers that would work ALL the time - no chance of rejection.
Here's the amazing fact that most guys don't know:
The most important thing when
you approach a woman is not what you first say, it's how sincere and
believable you communicate yourself behind those words.
For example, here's
one of the openers I use, and other guys I've taught use this almost without
"Hi, I hope you don't mind, but I don't have a clever
pickup line. I just wanted to come over and say hello. My name is..."
that over again, because the power of what that opening "line" does
Let's review what this communicates:
In evolutionary terms, most of your brain evolved to do one task: We
need to be able to figure out if someone is being REAL with
- It immediately shows that you're aware of the "game" being played, and you
- It shows that you're not afraid to talk to women about what really
matters - and you're sincere right from the start...
- It shows that you are not trying to hide your interest or try to sneak in through the back door of being "friends."
Because without that basic requirement, any relationship you have based on mistrust or insincerity could cost you.
It all starts with sincerity, which is something women can sense from you within the first few minutes (sometimes SECONDS) of conversation.
And that's why you can't fall into the trap of using phony lines or made-up stories to attract women when you approach, because they'll figure it out no matter how great a "pickup artist" you are.
That's why I created my REAL Game openers to help you be REAL
and authentic with women - AND get results.
You never need to lie to attract women.
In fact, another thing I discovered was that instead of trying to find the perfect line or impressive approach, the most successful technique to approach women is simply NOT messing it up!
APPROACH MISTAKE #3: Not having some
techniques and tools - a utility belt - to help you.
One of the most important things I observed as I learned how to approach women and get rid of the fear and anxiety was to watch other guys and learn from their mistakes.
I learned A LOT from them. (Thanks, guys...)
And one thing I saw that completely floored me was the fact
that guys who were actually relaxed and comfortable with walking up and approaching
women were crashing and burning ALL THE TIME.
These guys had what I would have killed to get (I ended up not having to kill for it, luckily...) and they were still messing up their approaches with women.
And then I saw what it was...
These guys had warmth, almost no fear approaching women, but they were missing
out on the most important thing...
After I figured it out, I wanted to get some business cards made up with the reason for their failure in big letters on it so I could just hand them out when I saw it happening.
"What Is The One Reason That Most Guys Fail
When They Approach Women?"
They had no
SYSTEM for what to say, and when to say it.
There was no plan.
No one goes in and tries to put up a building without a blueprint,
and you can't afford to go into an interaction with a woman without one, either.
It's vitally important that you know what words work and which ones don't to
get women to talk to you, open up to you, trust you, give you her number, get
a date with her, and so on.
I'll come back to this after the last mistake...
APPROACH MISTAKE #4: Not qualifying the
Qualifying is the process of figuring out if a woman meets YOUR criteria and requirements, which is something that most guys do not do.
After all, they're in such a hurry to try and hook her in that they aren't
thinking about whether they should even want this woman in their life in the
first place. They're coming from the DEMAND side of the equation, instead of
being the supply she wants so badly.
Think about this for a second, and really take a moment to reflect on your
own experience here. Don't you usually go up to a woman thinking about how
you can get her to want you? Or how you can show
her or prove your value?
Well, a woman needs to do this for you.
The first reason is that when you qualify the woman, she will find you a hundred
times more attractive than the other ten guys who tried to buy her a drink
in the last ten minutes.
The second reason is that you really do need to feel as if she has something
to prove to you.
APPROACH MISTAKE #5: Not having an exit
When you meet a woman, you need a good plan to get into a conversation first,
but you also need a good plan for leaving when things are at a high point.
Have you ever had a great conversation going, but you didn't know how to transition
out of it into getting contact information? And you find yourself afraid to
end the conversation, and it starts to fizzle out.
Before you lose all that effort, you need to use an "auto-save" feature on
You need to have a good idea of when, how, and what to say
to leave the conversation with either her phone number or an email address.
(An email address is often a better alternative to a phone number because
she will need less trust to give you it. Just be sure you write it down carefully!)
Of course, when you're finishing up the conversation, you are also likely
to make another mistake...
BONUS APPROACH MISTAKE #5.8: Asking a woman out too soon.
Oh, I know. I can hear you as you read that one.
"What? I'm not supposed to ask a woman out?"
You really shouldn't ask a woman out the first time you meet her.
When you ask a woman out right away, you communicate "quick-desperation."
I call it this because you look like you are the kind of guy who needs to "lock
something in" right
away because you're afraid of loss.
As part of your exit strategy, you need to simply go for her phone number
or email. There are ways to get a guaranteed date from a phone number, as long
as you handle things right.
"Here's How to Silence That Voice of Doubt
When I talk to guys about
their experience with this fear and shyness, and their desperate desire to
fix this part of their lives, one thing comes through: They just want to get
rid of that voice of doubt in their heads that stops them from just DOING
I have been working with guys for years now on every aspect of their dating
lives. I have also held bootcamps and training programs to take guys into bars
and clubs to work on their approaches and get them meeting more women in one
night than they have met in the last year. (For some guys, it was the FIRST
time they had ever been able to walk up and talk to a woman.)
As I conducted these seminars, I noticed how many similar mistakes guys were
making in their approaches, and just how easy it was to fix them.
Who I Am and How I Can Help You...
Now, if you're not familiar with me - Carlos Xuma - or my work, I have been
described as one of the original "pickup artists" - just like Neil Strauss
discussed in his book The
Game. When I spoke at his book signing here in San Francisco,
Neil and I both talked about how guys don't really think of me as a "pickup
artist" - more like a "guru."
I've never thought of myself as a "guru," either, but if it helps
- Hey, no problem.
One of the things I do for men is take them in the field in
classes to show them healthy and powerful attraction and approach skills.
This has given me the opportunity to observe all the common problems that guys
have when they approach women, and I have coached them to help them overcome
their "approach anxiety" as well as their "inner game" or
But the real important thing here is that I can now pass along these concentrated
lessons and shorten your learning time, the way I have for the guys in my seminars.
Remember that saying? "I did that, so I know I can do this."
You've seen and heard Carlos
- ABC & CBS Television
- David DeAngelo's Interviews with Dating Gurus
- Playboy Magazine
- Maxim Radio
- World Talk Radio
- "Sex with Emily" radio show
- "Rock Talk" radio show
- The Cliff's List Seminar
- Summum Magazine
- Neil Strauss' StyleLife Academy for "The Game"
"I want to
share with you my
complete system - that you
can learn in just a few hours - that you can use over and over again to talk
to women and approach women right now..."
What I did was take that notebook I told you about, and I pulled the rubber band
off, and I went through every page to create a system that would allow any guy
to learn how to approach women, and short-cut right past all that pain I had
to go through to get there.
If you're finally ready to get rid of that shyness that has been holding you
back for so long now, and you want to experience the power and satisfaction
of being able to walk up to any woman - anytime and anywhere - and get
her interested enough to want to get with you, I've got something that
you just might want to see...
I took my notes, along with my approach techniques, and confidence builders,
and conversation-starting skills, and I boiled it all down to a rock-solid
4-CD program designed to give you the ability to Approach Women -
I'm not just talking about a set of lines and techniques here, either.
went deep to give you all my best and most powerful methods of re-booting your
brain into "approach mode," for good.
This will be embedded in your brain forever,
and you won't have to go through all that shy fear again.
You'll learn WHY men are so wired to be afraid of approaching women, and...
you can break those "inner game" blockades that have you stuck in that loop
of wanting to approach a woman, but never being able to actually ACT."
we'll jump right into the specific methodology that will give you the best
introductions, the best openers, and the best lines ever to use to get into
conversations with women.
And the best part is that I won't just teach you a bunch of lines that will
be "found out" or
heard by every woman out there by the time you use them.
Listen to this: I'm going to teach you how to create your own material and
re-stock your utility belt in almost NO TIME at all. You'll
learn how to find your own original and GENUINE method of
talking to any woman.
And that's what makes my program so much more effective and necessary for you.
This is what makes this program so completely unique and unequaled.
Rather than get a bunch of canned "routines" that will be used up in a couple
of weeks once every woman has heard them, you'll get an understanding of how
the masters of approach find their openers, their stories, and their powerful
As the saying goes, I'm not just giving you a fish and feeding you for a day...
I'm teaching you HOW to fish so that you can feed yourself
for a LIFETIME.
Here are some of the things I'll teach you:
- What instinct you must trust to enable your long-term success with women...
- How to interpret and handle open/closed body language so that you're not
- What is the difference between men and women and how they express interest or disinterest in body language...?
- How to find the single most important indicator of interest from a woman and how
you need to read it to stay on track when you're building attraction...?
- What are the specific definitions of each of her body movements and how to read them all...?
- What are the Positive vs. Negative Indicators from a woman
- and which ones you can trust to read her correctly and not waste your time?
- Proxemics - What they are, and how they work in different
- My 2 Essential Techniques to use to get a woman to feel trust and rapport
with you so that you can get past the games and get really connected...
- The Approach Killers - I'll give you ALL the mistakes guys typically make
during the approach - and how you can learn to avoid them...
- How to use my "Assume the Bond" strategy and have her feeling like she's
known you her whole life...
- The one thing you must communicate with your words to make your approach
succeed, and if you don't communicate this, she'll just walk away...
There's even more inside this program...
"You're Going to Get My Simple System:
Every Trick, Tactic, Formula,
Shortcut, Strategy and Jealously-Guarded Secret
I've Got in My Arsenal to Approach Women..."
- What you absolutely must NOT do during your approach to
avoid the "uncomfortable
silence" situation - and how you can stop this from ever happening again...
- How to use "Monk's Discipline" for perseverance to success with women and
getting conversations that not only keep going until you want to leave them,
you'll have her hooked on you...
- I'll destroy the myths about "rejection" and "approach anxiety" that
guys like us feel, and I'll show you how to rid yourself of the fear and
shyness that holds you back from approaching the really beautiful women you
see in the bars...
- Why most approaches fail, and what you can do to easily double your
success rate at getting numbers from women...
- You'll understand the Five Levels of Approachers - Figure
out which one you are, and how to achieve phenomenal growth by using the
right approach strategies for your level...
- The A.I.M. Method of approaching, explained in detail
from start to finish - a complete system of how to approach women - for every
guy at any skill level...
- How to give yourself the mind-set you must have to ensure you are never
rejected or lose confidence when you're talking with women ever again...
- Tons of Example Approaches - you'll have specific word-for-word approaches
for meeting girls at a:
- Grocery store
- Department store
- Parking Lot
- Street or sidewalk
- Your Local Coffee Shop
- Any Group Setting
- Festival or a Street fair
- Your Gym or Exercise Club
- An Art Show
- ANYWHERE you see a woman you want to meet
"Take a Look at the Secrets of Approaching Women That You'll
Learn in This Digitally Recorded Audio Seminar..."
- How to use a single skill to control the approach and the encounter so
that you ALWAYS get the number, or you get rid of a time
- The unnecessary "work" you're doing that is crippling
your success with women - and how you can actually get more results with LESS work...
- Why introverts can be just as successful when they talk to women as extroverts
- No more Mr. Shy Guy...
- What you must do to avoid burn-out and fatigue when you talk to women
- and so you can stay on the top of your game in every approach...
- How a woman figures out if you and her have "chemistry" during your approach
- and how you can control this feeling to guarantee a powerful connection...
- How to choose and train your wingman for ultimate
success - and what skills
your wingman partner must have to help you approach women effectively...
- The one ultimate goal of the approach - and how to achieve
it so that you remove and reduce the "flaking" from women on the date...
(Hint: It's not what you think!)
- Master your own physical and sexual energy levels, and read other people's
energy with this ancient and powerful art...
"This Is The Real Deal..."
This isn't just theory, either.
This is the stuff I used to get past my fear and shyness, and the same approaches
I use to get into conversations with women all the time.
This is field-tested and real.
Here's What You Get in "Approach Women - NOW"
In the "Approach Women - NOW!" program, I will give you FOUR information
packed CDs of over 280 minutes of hard-core approach advice and motivation.
I'll explain all the the principles in easy-to-understand language, with tons
These techniques and introduction methods work over and over again. After
all, if your success isn't repeatable, it's no good.
I'll even help you get your attitude and self-confidence
up where it needs to be. No program that shows you how to approach women would be complete without an understanding of how to conquer your inner fears when you talk to women.
James finds it to fit any current situation...|
"I enjoyed your Approach Women NOW! program! It provided me
step-by-step approaches on EVERY single situation. [An] organized, Systematic, structured
method that is easy to remember and - most importantly to me - PERSONAL that I can
change and modify to fit any current situation. Thank you so much
[for] putting this program together!!!"
- James, CA
You are the Bomb!|
"Let me tell you Carlos that you are a life saver. I
just got out of a really bad marriage... I mean
bad... no self confidence whatsoever. To the point
that I was willing to take the abuse just to stay in
it. Luckily she got a boyfriend and kicked me out.
That's when I came across your products. I decided to
buy the approaching women CD's and let me say they are
AWESOME. Those CDs alone have shot my confidence
levels way up and made me really start to retrain my
brain and regain my confidence. I've already listened
to them 5 times and in the next month I'm buying the
alpha male program. Needless to say my charming
abilities are coming back full force. Thank you so much and keep up the good work."
- Darrin K. - Sacramento, CA
"I've Also Included Exclusive Exercises That Will Show You..."
- How to build a social network - create a broad and
huge social network that will fill your life with women...
- Observational People Skills - how to increase yours by
100% in just a couple weeks...
to change your core beliefs when you approach
women, when you talk to women, and ongoing long-term success with women that
will last you the rest of your life...
to use Autogenics to remove anxiety and
stay totally calm during the approach...
to create conversations from thin air with
anyone you meet - and keep them going for as long as you want...
to remove "approach anxiety" (AKA - Fear of
Rejection) with a two-minute exercise you can do anywhere before
you go out to meet women - or use it to recharge if you feel low-energy...
- How to Change Your Identity - Why "you" are a highly fluid
concept, and how to take on the attitude and personality YOU want...
- The right way to track your progress and keep score -
and the one tool you must have to improve your ability to approach and attract
the women you want...
- Opening Rituals - How to enter a resourceful state
in just a few seconds using the secrets that professional athletes
have used for years...
- The Power of Relaxation - the two skills you can use to
get rid of your obsessive worries and fears...
- Ever said the wrong thing and felt like a dork? Re-connect
your mouth to your brain - exercises to stop you from tripping
over your own tongue...
"Your Friends Will Envy Your Ability to Approach
and Talk to Women - Anywhere, Anytime..."
Would you leave on a trip to somewhere you'd never been before without a plan, a roadmap of the land that lies ahead? Or at least directions to tell you which way to turn?
Without directions you'll get hopelessly lost.
You might get there by luck, but it will take you ten times longer to find it than if you knew the way in advance.
Or if someone gave you a clear map to go directly to your goal.
If you've ever taken the wrong exit or wrong turn in the area where you live,
you know that it's not easy to find your way - even somewhere you
think you already know like the back of your hand.
The same thing is true when you learn how to approach women. Just one wrong
turn during your approach or in the conversation will doom you to failure.
You need to know where you're going!
I used to just go in and "wing it" when I approached women, and I got horrible
results. You know it isn't going well when your hands are sweating, your mouth
is dried out, and your heart is hammering your ribcage over 100 beats a second.
The best way to stay relaxed and confident during your interaction with
a woman is to have a plan. Your plan gives you confidence that no
matter what happens, you can flow with it.
That's what this program gives you. An diamond foolproof plan to approach
women anywhere you see them. When you have the tools, the work is easier, and
you'll find yourself more calm during the approach as a result.
Steve is back in the game...|
"After 23 years of marriage, I was quite apprehensive about going back into the dating scene at age 53.
Actually, apprehensive is putting it lightly. I was terrified.
Your audio coaching programs offered a clear and focused way of approaching women and engaging
them in just about any situation. What was at first a anxiety laden experience, was transformed
into a fun and successful way of bringing women into my life. In fact,
at this point I've got more women than I can handle! I feel like a kid in a candy store!
Keep up the great work. Your programs are worth their weight in gold."
- Steve D.
What Every Man Needs to Know -
How to Approach Women and Talk to Women...
- The Architecture of the Approach -
from start to finish, I'll describe the Dynamic Approach Technology and the
AIM model - the proven method for how to approach women anywhere...
- How to choose which women to approach and the type of women
you need to avoid...
- "Be the Lion" - The Inner confidence
tool to assume a powerful mental state for success that will have
you approaching more women than anyone else...
- The one thing you can do to warm her up before you approach that
will improve your closing ratios by more than 100%...
- The Three Layers of Social Interaction,
and where you must cross each in your approach to have a lasting impact and
generate REAL attraction with a woman...
- Knowing when to end your approach for maximum effect and
avoid the "fizzle out..."
- What you must do as fast as possible to get a woman's
- "The Hop" and how you apply it when you talk to women to
keep the conversation on track and focused on your goals...
- How to talk to women about sex in your conversation to get her hot with desire - three killer lead-ins to get her talking about her wild fantasies with you...
- How being TOO prepared gives you away -
and how you can avoid this classic trap...
- Closing the Deal - How you end the conversation gracefully
and get her phone number...
- How to Diagnose Your Approach - how to
spot your problems and correct them, from start to finish...
- Essential resources for you to use for continuing improvement
in your social skills...
- The most important female interest indicator that almost
every guy misses...
- The one bad habit most guys have during
an approach that kills a woman's interest - and how you can turn it into a solid
gold attraction mechanism...
- How to pickup women using YOUR OWN personality...
Here's What You'll Learn On The 4 Digital Audio CDs
Attitude, Psychology, and Motivation
- How to Motivate Yourself for Success
- How to Convey the Right Attitude and Posture
- Overcoming Your Fears and Removing Rejection
- Preparation to Approach Women
- Goals and Calibration
- The Attitude of the Master Approacher
Body Language and Exercises
- How to talk to women, and What Body Language You Can Ignore
- Reading Energy Levels
- Reading Body Language Indicators, From Head to Toe
- Positive and Negative Body Language Signs
- Proxemics, Mirroring and Pacing
- Exercises to Improve Your Attitude, Generate Self-Confidence, and Motivate Yourself
- Controlling Your Mind-Body State
Architecture of the A.I.M. Model - Example Approaches
- Philosophy and Architecture of Approaching Women
- The Complete Process to Approach Women
- Communicating Your Interest
- Getting through the Layers of Communication
- Progressive Goals to Approach Women
Example Approaches - Power Tools - Diagnosing Your Problems and Fixing Them
- Using Applied Skills in Conversation to Drive Up Interest, Trust, and Rapport
- Sexual Communication
- Social Proof and High Social Value (HSV)
- Problems and Solutions When You Approach Women
- Advanced Skills for Approaching Women
- References, Resources, and Complete Approach Explanations
MORE examples of Real People Who Have Success With The "Approach
Women - NOW!" program...
"I am so appreciative of your 'Approach Women - NOW!' program. I have learned to assert myself
and not accept 2nd class behavior from myself or others and do what I believe is right and
not just go along to be accepted.
Now I have the courage to go online and send out PROPER emails and not be dependent on the outcome.|
"Before starting on these programs, I was like Michael Douglas in [the movie]
I let others determine my value and obsessed where I stood with others... as
a result I was highly neurotic and was scapegoated and hugely unwelcome wherever
"I now provide my own validation. I'm
so happy to have removed myself from the pariah subclass. Thank you very much!!!"
"I have been listening to your podcasts for the last 2 months and I finally broke down and bought the
'Approach Women Now' program. Boy oh boy is it great!!!
My only regret is that I did not come across this sooner!
The advice and exercises have elevated my game up to a whole new level
and I am using them to help manage my fear of approaching women.
Give me a few more weeks to study this information, and watch out ladies! Thanks!!!"|
"The Approach Women Now program is great! It helps a lot...
it transmits a good vibe, motivation, confidence and the will to ACT.|
"Acting becomes so natural, and the concepts so familiar that you'll
have no problem dealing with woman.
The yes or no becomes just the result of their attitude, not yours, because you
already have a good attitude...
"I've met some interesting new pretty faces and their smiles.
I seduce them and they seduce me too. Things are rolling..."
...and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Click here to read more testimonials.
"Listen to what the other gurus have to say about Carlos Xuma's
"If I knew about Carlos Xuma's products earlier in my life, it would have saved me a lot of years... Trust me, Carlos has changed my life -- he can change yours too!"
"... We're here to say with absolute CERTAINTY that you clearly deserve to be amongst the top 1% within the crowded triangle.... He always OVERDELIVERS in his dating programs and, long story short... his techniques WILL get you the results you want. Period."
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. I highly recommend Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, it's 100% real."
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques..."
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character..."
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction. ... Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
"Carlos Xuma is on the 'dating forefront' of teaching guys in this area and he can help YOU fast-forward your own skills and confidence to get R.E.A.L. results with women."
Press play to hear Rion...
"I was blown away by how much this guy knows... I highly recommend learning from this man..."
Press play to hear Jason...
"Great stuff... Really awesome... this stuff will put all the elements together man... I highly recommend it..."
Press play to hear Mehow...
"I can tell you that Carlos lives what he teaches... He is genuine, authentic, and very much in tune with people..."
Press play to hear David Shade...
The Unique "How to Approach Women, Talk to Women
and Read Body Language" Program...
FOUR CD Audio Approach Women Home Study Course with over 4 (FOUR) hours of instruction
that will give you clear and concise directions to creating attraction and interest in the women you talk to. No hype. Just results.
This is the most UNIQUE program and easy to use program on the market - there is no other single product that deals with this subject with this clarity and quality...
Plus, ACT now and get the Approach Bonus
FIVE valuable bonuses (Valued at $589.85) that I
*insist* you keep -- no matter what you decide...
I want to make sure you have EVERYTHING you need to immediately guarantee the success of your
So if you act on or before
February 18, 2019,
as part of my special offer,
I've decided to give anyone who claims a copy of "Approach Woman - NOW!" program
FULL ACCESS to the following FIVE Valuable Bonuses...
** BONUS #1 - Approach Women Reference E-book **
The bonus e-book is the perfect companion to the audio program,
outlining and summarizing the key areas of Carlos' approach style.
The book lists the "rules of engagement" for you to
get the maximum benefit from the audio and exercises.
You'll even get "power tools" to enhance every encounter with a woman into a hot and steamy romance...
The e-book lists the architecture and overview of the approach types,
and word-for-word approaches for almost every situation you could find yourself in.
Carlos has even included his favorite, qualifiers, lead-in questions, challenges, and tests.
And, to cap it off, he's included his favorite motivational material to keep you on the
path no matter what!
- The rules of body language
- Topics for conversation
- Closing phrases
- How to demonstrate humor
- Special learning resources to consult after you've finished the program
** BONUS #2 - Approach Coach Audio-zine **
Have you ever gotten discouraged? Every guy has.
Now can you imagine how great it would be to get regular coaching and motivation from
Carlos after you've completed the Approach women NOW program?
For one year after your order, you'll receive a regular update from Carlos giving some of his
best approaches and tactics for meeting women - anywhere & anytime!
The audio segments are digitally recorded MP3 files that you can listen to at
home, at work, on your iPod or MP3 player, or burn them to a CD and play on any stereo.
You'll get the latest and greatest tips on how to get women interested in you using
Carlos' proven strategies.
** BONUS #3 - Access to the Podcast Archives **
For over 8 months now, Carlos has been producing a critically acclaimed weekly podcast.
Every Sunday, a new segment is available online - but you could only access the past 3 or 4 podcasts.
The rest were taken offline.
Now, through this special one-time offer, you can
get the first 30 podcasts Carlos has made, since the first day!
This is over 30 minutes in each audio segment, giving you all kinds of great information on
meeting women, getting the right level of confidence, handling dating challenges, and everything you
could want to know about women and dating.
That's over 15 HOURS of archived and rare audio from Carlos,
and it's available to you for *FREE with this package*!
** BONUS #4 - Top 10 Q&A E-book **
Carlos' hand-picked Q&A from some of his most common questions.
Here, Carlos goes into the various situations a guy will find himself in when interacting
with women, including:
These questions outline the secret mindset of the master seducer and approach artist through
examples and detailed explanations of strategies and tactics. This e-book is your ticket to
unplugging from the Matrix and installing the beliefs of an Alpha Man!
- The Three Success Attitudes and how to demonstrate them to women
- Closing - how to get your goals and desires with women
- How to handle dating a woman that's unavailable
- How to challenge a high-quality woman
- Why you stay obsessed with certain women
- How to handle your reputation with women
- How to get rid of nervousness
- How to date many women at the same time
- and much more!
** BONUS #5 - Unlimited access to the Alpha Power Forum **
With your purchase of the "Approach Women - NOW!" Program, you
not only have the experience of our program, but you'll get immediate
access to our members-only message board and join an exclusive
group of like-minded individuals on the same path to success with women. It's
just like the Master-Mind group that Carlos talks about in the programs.
In the Alpha Power Forum, you will be able to:
- Join discussions with other single guys learning dating and seduction skills.
- Get general advice on social dynamics and specific advice for attracting women.
- Get answers to all of your seduction and pick-up related questions.
- Have access to all of the latest dating concepts and techniques.
- Locate and hook up with wingmen in your area.
- Learn about Seduction Lairs and find out how to join them.
- Continue your progress and get peer support.
- Have personal contact with all instructors, including me.
- Get access to exclusive Field Reports from Carlos and other students and learn all of the
newest concepts and techniques in the field of social dynamics.
** BONUS #6 - FREE Evaluation Call from a
Certified PickUp 101 Senior Instructor! **
part of a special arrangement I've made with Lance Mason and Pickup 101, I want
to offer you a very special bonus. Every weekend, Lance Mason & Pickup
101's crack team of instructors are out in bars, supermarkets, and cafe’s perfecting
and demonstrating their bullet-proof attraction techniques so they can provide
you with the best dating tips and advice available. Just like what I teach, it's
FAST and it GETS RESULTS.
probably know Lance from my interviews and other work we've done together. And
since I'm putting my bootcamp work on hold for the moment, I needed someone who
could do this for you and someone I could trust. Lance is that guy.
Now, some guys are skeptical and want to know why they're giving away a free
evaluation call, especially with experienced instructors who spend most of their
time leading large workshops.
There are a few important reasons:
In the evaluation calls, these instructors can get to the heart of some of your
challenges with women, and help you evaluate an appropriate course of action
moving forward. And if PickUp 101's not the best one to help out with your
particular situation, they'll tell you that too.
- This is a limited-time offer, so not everyone who visits this page has
access to the offer. Quite honestly, this offer is only possible because I
know they can take the offer off of our website at any time when they get too
- Second of all, some guys can get overwhelmed by all the information on dating and "pickup" that's available, and have trouble sorting through what might get results for them.
- Thirdly, we're all here to learn and grow, and we enjoy helping guys' progress in the fastest, easist way possible.
That means you won't have to waste tons of time and money on programs that won't ultimately help you to achieve your goal in the fastest way possible.
Signing up for a one-on-one Evaluation Call is easy, IF you're fast.
You see, even though Lance & I are such good friends, I pretty much had to wrestle the guy down to get him to agree to give away these evaluation calls, but he finally gave up & agreed to help you all out.
But it comes with a catch: Lance has only agreed to do 100 Evaluation Calls, so if you wait too long to sign up, you're out of luck! If you miss your chance to schedule a call, I cannot guarantee you will have a chance to reschedule.
Remember, spots are filling up quick, and I can't say when we might have the time to reach out to guys on a one-on-one basis like this again.
TOTAL PACKAGE VALUE:
Your 90-Day DOUBLE Risk-Free Guarantee
Of course, you don't have to decide now. If you order today, you won't have
to pay for 30 days. I'll take ALL the risk for you.
If you're not absolutely thrilled, just return the CDs in re-saleable condition within 90 days for a complete 100% refund. No questions. No hassles.
Protection #2: Even if you cancel, your efforts won't be for nothing. You'll get to keep the
FIVE Valuable Bonuses as my way of saying "Thanks." That's a guaranteed gain, no matter what you decide!|
...I literally take ALL of the risk for you because that's how much I believe in this program.|
I'm currently offering a temporary 10% discount to
EVERYONE who tries this program TODAY...
Instead of paying the full price of 54.97 over two months
you will pay ONLY
AND you don't have to pay me for 30 DAYS.
I'll take ALL
the risk for you.
But be aware
that this offer may soon expire,
so hurry up and claim your copy of "Approach
Women - NOW!" today and get this 10% discount...
Start Approaching Women In The Next 5 Minutes --
There's nothing more important than learning the art and science of approaching
women with a style they can't resist - there's no excuse for letting
this opportunity slip through your fingers
Even if you're a little short on cash at the moment, I've made special arrangements
you to get this program.
Life is way too short to waste precious time hoping to stumble on the woman
of your dreams.
It just won't happen. Why not get the knowledge now
and enjoy the rest of your
life reaping the rewards?
You won't listen to the CDs just once, I guarantee it. You'll use them
as a reference for every time you want to approach a woman, and you'll
be prepared and ready.
The next move is up to you.
to get "Approach Women - NOW!" program at
2 monthly payments of just 49.97 (10%
And, don't forget -- if you
, your "Approach Women - NOW!" program will include FIVE
: (Totaling $589.85
- Approach Women Reference E-book ($49.97 value)
- Approach Coach Audio-zine ($179 value)
- Access to the Podcast Archives ($229.97 value)
- Top 10 Q&A E-book ($49.97)
- Unlimited access to the Alpha Power Forum ($129.97 Value)
All for only 2 payments of 49.97.
You have an iron-clad 90 day trial period for the "Approach
Women - NOW!" program. Listen to every CD carefully... use the techniques...
and see exactly how much these techniques work for you.
-- and claim the FIVE Valuable Bonuses
(valued at $589.85 but yours FREE).
Wishing you confidence and total success with women,
Be TRICKED into thinking: "This
can't work for ME..."
Obviously, some things don't change too much. Contrary to popular belief,
relations between men and women haven't changed for a few thousand years. Yes,
there is feminism out there, but the basic chemistry and approach for women
is still very much the same.
Yet, despite this, only a TINY fraction of men
know how to approach women and attract them (as women want us to).
Remember - if you keep going on the path you are now, without any guidance,
you may never figure out the secrets I've unlocked to
approaching women. It
took me years to figure this all out, and you can learn it in just minutes.
Take this tremendous step toward getting this area of your life taken care
of - once and for all!
P.P.S. Remember that you get all
the bonuses FREE with this offer - even if you decide you
don't want the program and return it.
This is better than your
money back, because you still
come out ahead with this offer no matter what you do. In fact, the only way
you lose is if you don't do anything.
Just click this button to get the "Approach Women - NOW!" program,
your CD shipment on your 90-day trial: (please give the order
page up to 10 seconds to load)
NOTE: If you would like to order using PayPal or
by mail, Click Here.
(The free 30-day trial is only available with debit or credit cards).
If you have any questions about the Approach Women - NOW! program,
just email us by clicking HERE.
If you have any technical problems with our website or your order,
just send an email to us HERE and
we'll get back to you with an answer.